Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
