If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
