That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
