I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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