I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
