Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
