You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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