so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
