come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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