we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
