Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
