I'm lost and stupid without you.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
