I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize