You work out of a Hotel?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
