You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize