you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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