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I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So squirting runs in the family.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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