R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
