after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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