The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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