I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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