New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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