Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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