Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
