before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
There are leaves in my underwear?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
