Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
