I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
