Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
