He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
