News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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