these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
they need to just BURY HIM!
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
