So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
