Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
