glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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