i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
