Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
