I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
