what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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