either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
