Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
When are your genitals available?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
