WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
