like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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