Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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