Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
