turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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