He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
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All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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