Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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