I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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