just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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