Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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