god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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