Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
