you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
