awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
