Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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