i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize