so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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