just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
