I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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