Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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