Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
