So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize