Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
