Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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